Tranmere match report by Vince Budd

Hey there guys its Vince Budd here from the good old U.S of A here to bring you my take on the match-up yesterday between the Oldham Latics Athletic and the Tranmere Lions Rovers at the Prenton Arena. The Rovers come from near Liverpool which is home to my favourite English band of all time Black Sabbath they sure as hell Rock, but will the Latics Rock like those guys I hope they sure do. They line up as followed:
Goaltender – Dean Brill – he sucked last season
Left D-fenceman – Paul Black – he’s young and hungry like a tiger
Right D-fenceman – Kieran Lee – formally of Manchester Yankees
Centre Real Estate – JJ Jarrett Junior – playing in foreign fields, normally he’s a centre rover
Skipper – Reuben Hazell –
Left Wingman – Joe-Louis Alessandra – back from time-out with a long injury
Centre Rover – Dean Furman – Dickov wants him further up the back-bone
Centre Sniper – Dale Stephens – the man on major and minor penalties
Right Wingman – Richie Jones – another player formally of Manchester Yankees
Power Offence – Ournare Tounkare – signed on Thursday from the Sunderland Black Cats
Sleeper – Warren Feeney – who comes from Northern Ireland

So the season faced off with the Latics kicking to the Tranmere Rovers fans in the arena, and the game started with some prime real estate from the Latics d-fence, Hazell winning the ball, JJJ with some good passwork to the centre. The first chance fell to Alessandra whose snipe at the heavy metal was pushed to the side by the Tranmere Goaltender. The first score of the game came from a passout from a corner kick ending up in the enforcer awarding a minor penalty for the Latics on the 18, which was dispatched by Stephens who went low-longside into the goal. This came with 30 minutes past in the first period, following on from that Tranmere nearly had a score when a rush-attack was converted into a high-pass into the Oldham box Tranmere Power Forward Enoch Showunmi had a head shot that went wide of the heavy metal to the Goaltenders relief. At the intermission the scores was zero to 1 to the Oldham Latics. Following on from the intermission into the second period some great real estate from the Oldham d-fence prevented any forms of sniping from the Tranmere offence and with 36 minutes gone in the 2nd period the Oldham Latics put the game to bed with a breaking pass up to the Left wingman JL Alessandra who played an assist to Stephens who sniped a power shot low-shortside into the goal for another score 2 to zero. The Tranmere offence created a score from a corner kick-out which was converted high-longside over the Oldham goaltender by Ian T Moore, who is seen as a jackass to the Oldham Latics supporters. But the enforcer blew for the end of the 2nd period and the end of the match-up which was very satisfying for the Oldham Latics who beat the Tranmere Rovers by 2 to 1, leaving the Latics 7th on the League 1 ladder.

Latics' "Legend Island"

Some people out there believe that there is a place to go when we all die, we at Boundary Boo's believe that there is a place to go when a Latics player ends his career and disappears into the wilderness.



It's called Legend Island and today showing his face on Legend Island is the legend himself Mr David Beharall, WELCOME DAVID!!!

Preview for tomorrow

I was going to bring you an interview with an opposition fan but the Tranmere fan I interviewed didn't get back to me!! So it's just me stating what I think will happen, we've sold-out our initial allocation of 1000 tickets and I expect at least 600 more people to turn up on the day making it better than any away following last season. Anyways lets not get too excited over the away following as my penis is an adequate size therefore I don’t feel the need to brag about something which isn’t important as the game is played on the pitch. Where I think we'll line up with the following in a 4-4-2

GK - Brill
RB - Lee
CB - Hazell
CB - M'Voto
LB - Black
CM - Jones
CM - Furman
CM - Stephens
LM - Allesandra
ST - Feeney
CF - Tounkare

I think we should get a result but it's the first game of the season so nothing is a given. Remember Norwich last year?

Feeney Fashion
The Ulsterman’s Suggested dress code for tomorrow is a lime green tank top, with a suede jacket with a sheepskin thong and orange cork shoes.

Keigan’s Kitchen
He may of left us but he will still be helping us out this season with tips for pre-match meals and tomorrow he’s suggesting Tortilla Soup with baked Ziti.

Gunnar’s Gun
The man himself suggests that because Birkenhead is “full of that sort” (his words not mine) he suggests you bring a machine gun in case it all gets a bit nawty most notably the Heckler & Koch HK21 is popular with Gunnar at this moment in time.

Carlo’s commercial
Carlo reccomends that you shop at Cheshire Oakes before the game tomorrow, he says there is plenty of “awesome consumer goods” available for everyone.

Golf with Gregan

Hey chaps, I’m sure that you’re all aware that there has been little action in the last few months, so I’ve been keeping up with the 2nd great love in my life – Golf, oh yes! I’m sure there are plenty of others out there who play the game so let me give you my review of the week just been.

Iron of the week – this week I’ve been using my Callaway Diablo Edge set for a few matches I’ve participated in; these Irons certainly helped me hit the sweet spot, which helped me no ends with my accuracy.

Course of the week – this week I played at the Pines Golf Centre in Dumfries, it was a very wooded course therefore the shots on the 18 hole course had to be just right (thanks to my Irons), it was a great centre as there are Rental Carts available as well as a teaching pro, a Driving Range and Putting Green if required.

Score of the week – overall I managed to hit a par 27, not one of my best games but the results will come better no doubt in the years to come.

This made me chuckle

Hey fellas

It’s been a while, we were so intrigued what with the England’s surge to World Cup glory and all the celebrating afterwards, who would of thought such glory and riches would come to our great nation this summer. We were brilliant in every match from start to finish we were the cream of the crop and it was almost orgasmic to know that such a great team represented our nation and to beat the Auld Enemy in the end was just the icing on the cake. Oh yes I just hope that Paul Collingwood and Kevin Pietersen keep up the good work in time for the Ashes as there’s no mistake I smell that smell it’s that time of year again. It's back to the Boundary Park and we have a new man in charge in “The Dick” and as ever with a new manager those fantasies are going through the heads of certain individuals raising expectation like a Surface-to-air missile so for when them expectations come crashing down to earth like an oil spill on a UFO, we at the Boundary Boos have returned with a bang and will be there for your entertainment so enjoy.

A sorry state of Affairs

It pains me to say this but it appears that Latics fans have sunken to another low this week with the departure of Pawel Abbot to Charlton. Thankfully it seems to only be a minority of fans who seem to think that the man who scored a third of Latics’ goals last season despite playing through the pain barrier and needing an operation in the first few months and being out for a following 2 months.

This isn’t the first time a decent player has been slated by our fans, as we all remember the unfair abuse that Neal Eardley received whilst he was at the club, I remember being 4-0 down at Hereford when all of Herefords goals came down our LEFT-hand side (remember that Eardley was playing on the RIGHT) and one fan shouted “this just goes to show how bad you are Eardley”. He then went on to be voted in the PFA League 1 team of the season and went on to make a move to a club in a higher Division. I think the problem with Eardley is that people complained when a winger beat him, but if people actually paid attention to the game going on you will find that in most cases the winger will beat his opponent every time. For example when Chris Taylor gets the ball everyone expects him to beat his man and in most cases he will but does that make the player he’s beaten no good?

Then there was Chris Killen who unfortunately spent most of his career with us injured, which I admit is not much use for us considering how much he was being paid, which is hardly his own fault as his contract was written up when Chris Moore was chairman. But some people seemed to of translated the fact that he was no good to us with his injuries for him being a rubbish player. Again he went onto bigger and better things after he left our club, but what people seem to forget is that in his final full season in 04/05 season he played 30 games and scored 15 which translated means that he had a goal to games ratio of 1 in 2, is that the ratio of a rubbish player?

The above examples begs the question, is this the case at other clubs? The answer to that question is a yes to a certain extent, there will always be a player at a club who will receive unfair criticism at every club. But there seems to be a pattern emerging at Oldham where the players who do get slated seem to go onto bigger and better things, why just this week Sheffield Wednesday rejected a £500,000 bid for Jermaine Johnson from Nottingham Forest. Whereas players who receive lots of praise like Mark Allott and Danny Whittaker are playing for Chesterfield in the League below. I asked one of the fans who didn’t rate Abbott, Eardley, Killen or Johnson what he wanted to see in a centre forward and he gave the response “A striker can shoot on target and can beat at least 2 opponents.” That to me was a very general response and sounded like he described Lionel Messi as the ideal striker at Oldham, well is the Pope a Catholic? Does poo smell bad? Of course Lionel Messi would be a very welcome addition to the Oldham forward line, theres just one tiny problem with that, Oldham Athletic play in the 3rd tier of English Football with very little money whereas Lionel Messi is disputed as one of the best forwards in the World. A general response to any question usually suggests a lack of intelligence and my worry is that the questioned person’s opinion is not a lone one. This week the supporters trust has recently launched another player share scheme I just hope for the sake of the club that the fans don’t have a say on who is bought, as for Pawel Abbot, he is now in a better team and we will see how well he will do, I wish him all the best and although I’m not too down heartened at his departure as we have a new regime who intend to play a different way, you’ve got to wonder what goes through some peoples heads.

On holiday with Holden

alright lads it's Dean Holden here, this week I've been visiting Belize.

With one foot planted in the Central American jungles and the other dipped in the Caribbean Sea, Belize blends the best of both worlds. Offshore, kayakers glide from one sandy, palm-dotted islet to another, while snorkelers swim through translucent seas, gazing at a kaleidoscope of coral, fish, dolphins and turtles. Inland, explorers investigate ruins of ancient civilizations, and birders aim their binoculars at some 570 species. Between national parks, wildlife sanctuaries and marine reserves, more than 40% of the country’s area is protected in one form or another, creating a haven for countless creatures of land, sea and sky.

Letters Page

What with the best end of sod all happening around these parts with all eyes on the World Cup (unless you are indeed a special person) we sort of abandoned the BB's for a while. But we're now back and we have a few letters from our ledgendary fans

Dear Boundary Boos,

There is 3 things I despise in life. Yorkshire puddings, the wife and SEAN "bloody" Gregan. What is the point of him, at least you can eat Yorkshire puds and get spuds deep in the wife. He's awful, at fault for most of our goals and as threatening as dead disabled kitten on attacking corners!

Please if he is captain next year dont be excpecting me to turn up every week to watch them!

Norris Casserole

yes but lets be fair, he would of cut out that long ball down the middle that Germany scored the first goal from last weekend

Dear Boundary Boo's

It's all Ashley Cole's fault England are out of the World Cup, if he spent more time being a good husband to Cheryl rather than owning a flash car, banging other hot women. It was done before John Terry did it, so I'm guessing that it was Ashley Cole who told him to bone Wayne Bridge's ex wife. It seems the England team care more about notches on the bedpost than winning the World Cup, all this sex is disgusting, if I can't have it then why should anyone else?

Yours Colin Ryan

I weep for England

Boundary Boo's EXCLUSIVE!!! - OLDHAM TO APPOINT TOTO!!!

With all the speculation going around since Latics decided to part company with Dave Penney the other week, we at the Boundary Boo's have been trying to get as close as we can to the action than any other forms. Last night whilst we send in our undercover reporter Darren Beckford into the club disguised as Mark Allott and we discovered some shocking new developments.

It turns out that Latics are set to unveil non other than Salvatore "Toto" Schillaci as Dave Penney's successor in the hot seat at Boundary Park.

Schillaci (45) played for Juventus and Internazionale during a 15 year career, where he made a name for himself scoring 6 goals for his native country during the 1990 World Cup and winning the Golden Boot, the 1990 World Cup is still well remembered today by Italian football fans as the Notti Magiche di Totò Schillaci (magical nights of Totò Schillaci), even though the Italian national team did not win the World Cup at home.

Schillaci has not been coaching youngsters in Sicily since he left Japanese club Júbilo Iwata in 1997, has expressed an interest to work in England especially since his old friend and former mentor Fabio Capello has been in charge of the national team.

Oldham Athletic Managing Director Simon Corney said "This is very exciting for the football club, we can hopefully use this as a springboard for future success and move onwards and upwards".

The people have spoken...

...and the only thing 'hung' around here is legendary pornstar Paul Beavers! Oh yes the votes have come in and the turnout has been good and the shock result concludes that The Boundary Boo's Boo Man of the Season is none other than Mr Dean Brill!!!

Gunnarz back with his Gunz!!!`

Hallo,

I took Carlo Corazzin's advice and decided to inverst in the abtron 6000; look at my gunz now!!! Oh yeah I use them gurd!!!

Ciao

If only...

...Latics had won promotion in 2007, we would obviously of signed a team of Galácticos to play alongside superstars like Paul Warne and Sean Gregan, including players like Andrés Iniesta, Andrea Pirlo and David Villa (pictured), we would of re-developed Boundary Park into a 180,000 all-seater superdome and we would of won the FA Cup and promotion to the Premiership where we would of beaten Man United 12-0 on the opening game, why oh why did we have to lose that 2nd leg against Blackpool, we were so close to glory!!!!

Shit happens

1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?
61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites?
Everyday 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents
The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year
Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world
The average person laughs 13 times a day
Elvis was originally blond
The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old
The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised
Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing
41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexual experience
There is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?
22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britain
96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm
3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue
The 'Guinness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in public libraries
Butterflies taste with their feet
5% of the population is gay
The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola'
The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue
Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'
In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank because a Russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet
Only one book has been printed in more copies than the Bible - the IKEA-catalogue
1 cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life
In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people
'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants
74% of all nudist-females are nudists, because their husbands are nudists
More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders
21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep
Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm? - unfortunately it got stolen

Carlo's Commercial

Hey there I'm Carlo Corazzin, some of you may remember me as that brushing white toothed striker from good old Canada. But there was more to my game than Soccer. I'm here to tell you about the abtron 6000, oh yes from the people who brought you the abtron 5000; the abtron 6000 will give you perfect abs in 4 minutes guarenteed!!

So here we go chaps

I am sure you have herd many news broadcasts and election debates recently on the news, on the internet, on the radio and you may have had candidates coming to your door to secure your vote.

But we're only interested in the big election the only one that matters yes thats right THE BOUNDARY BOO'S, BOO MAN OF THE SEASON AWARD. Our panel of commitee of experts have gathered together our nominations for who we think there has been the person you hate the most about Oldham Athletic this season and there has been intense debate ever since. So please submit your vote, its your chance to say how you feel about all that is wrong with the world and how far your hatred can stretch.

So get voting and get hating!

So the votes are cast...

...and Sean Gregan - the album will feature the above cover

This aint a game this is War!!!!

“all invaders will be greeted with gun-shot!!!” Read the warning notice outside a scrap yard outside Marsden, I’ve just crossed the great divide which is more commonly known as no-mans land. Tomorrow sees a football fixture which to some is seen as war. I’m trying to fit in, I’m not too familiar with this area those west of no-mans land call ‘bandit country’, I pass the checkpoint to enter Yorkshire they searched me and my colleagues to see if I was carrying any Black Puddings, the process is repeated at a checkpoint in Milnrow to see if Yorkshire Puddings are in position (when the two come into contact with one another people are exposed to a mental illness known as Boggheadbahbahbeyoff syndrome). I continue towards Huddersfield Town Centre I’m meeting Biff a proud Yorkshireman and an Oldham fan called Tony, we were going to get the two sat down to discuss the rivalry but due to the high feelings between the two sets of supporters we didn‘t have the funding to secure the building, Tony lost members of his family during the war of the roses between 1455 and 1485 and Biff was knocked unconscious by a Andrew Flintoff 6 during a recent roses clash in the Twenty20 cup.

‘They are BIFFO scum? Oldham fans don’t have souls. I hate them every single one of them, they have always been the enemy and they always will be. They always give it the bigg’un about the Royle years and during those days I was tempting suicide, my life wasn’t worth living because Oldham were 2 Divisions above us, but now is our time and they are the shit, I can’t wait for tomorrow we’ll do them on and off the pitch” Biff hates Oldham that much that he refuses to fly from Manchester Airport because it means he has to go through Oldham. His views when it came to players Jon Worthington, Andy Holdsworth and Pawel Abbott who recently moved across to Oldham was straight and to the point “They’re dead to us!!”

Tony was no different when it came to his views on Huddersfield

“Sheep Shagging inbred bastards, I hope they all die, even if they beat us tomorrow they can never take the piss because we are the superior human beings. The thought of them being two divisions above us next season doesn’t give serious thought it just can’t happen and if it does then Dave Penney will be crucified then burnt (that is of course if Joe Colbeck can for the first time in his life put together a decent cross, I loathe them with all my heart”

Whatever your allegiance one thing is for certain tomorrow is going to be tasty!!!

Football Art

Number 1: Dean Windass 07/02/09 vs Leicester City



a big thanks goes out to artist Abner Bartholomew for the painting

Introducing

.........Sean Gregan - the album

The Man, The Legend, The Classic songs that have accompanied our praise for who I'm sure we all agree is the greatest human being alive since Jermaine Johnson. The album includes the following songs:

1. Cast No Gregan
2. Seany Gregan (Walking down the Street)
3. Seany Greegs (Leader of the Oldham team)
4. Back-In Sean
5. Gregan To Heaven
6. Enter Seany
7. Billy Greegs
8. I Can't Help Falling In Love With Sean
9. Voodoo Gregan
10. Why Does He Always Tackle Me?
11. Hey Greegs
12. Can't Get Enough Of Your Strength (Seany)
13. More Than A Gregan
14. You Overdid It Sean

and now the man himself has given you - the readers of the Boundary Boos - a unique oportunity to vote which album cover the band will use:

Sample 1 - The Nirvana style



Sample 2 - Oasis style



Sample 3 - Michael Jackson style



Sample 4 - Queen style



Which one wins? You decide?

Letters again

Boundary Boos

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Rubbish!!!!
Not fit to wear the shirt!!!
He couldn’t give a monkeys!!!!
No fight!!!!
Bring back Andy Ritchie!!!!
Failsworth over my dead body!!!!
Sack the board!!!!
Sack the club!!!!
We hate Man United and they really care what we think!!!!!
ARGHHHHH!!!!!

I’m lost for words how bad everything is at the minute BOOOOO

Say Boo to Failsworth

Do you not have the cranial capacity to put together a decent letter with some actually valid points? Or are you just - ah forget it

Dear Boundary Boos

It is with great dejection that I must leave my duties of representing you fine fellows at Oldham Athletic Football Club and press on over to the other side of Heywood to the captivating town of Bury. I hope over the last few months that you have rejoiced in the recopies of which you have no doubt been flourishing.

May I wish you all the best in the fated your old kitchen cohort

Keigan Parker

x

thank you ever so much for your contribution to our page, we wish you all the best at Bury and I'm sure every single Latics fan is grateful of all the hard work you have put in over the past few months, your recipes were fantastic, we'll miss you

Dear Boundary Boos I’m writing to complain about the disgusting behavior of some of our fellow supporters, indeed I have heard people sing very naughty words at some of the players and it is just not called for. Not to mention the persistent standing that goes on, it has put me off going to games and I now read my match report and about all the filth that goes on in the Daily Mail.

Mr Tim O’Dae

there are some really miserable bastards posting this week

Flavs's Disco Moves

Hey baby disco Flavs here telling you about the world of Disco, when your out on the razzmatazz on the tiles of Oldham remember one thing you follow the Flavs and it’s ladeez you’ll bag!!!

To start off you lead with your right foot and take three steps back YEAAAHHH!!!
Then tap the left foot against the right foot and clap your hands - BABY!!!
Then you make the move over again only leading with the left foot - GROOOVEE!!!
Take your left foot to the side, then cross the right foot behind the left foot - COOOOL!!!!
Then take your left foot to the side again hit your right foot against your left and clap - FEEEEEELLL!!!
Then do the same again but leading with you right foot - AWWW YEEAAHH!!

That is how you do the California Hustle

Stay Funky

Gunnars Gunz!!!

Hallo; Ya man Gunner is back, when all you suckers were trapped in all that snow I spent time over in Kentucky meeting my old friends from Iraq.

My friends Bubba and Randy were hanging out on the sofa drinking Dr Pepper with Jim Beam and watching NASCAR like hillbillies do; when they were speaking about a Civil War re-enactments, and the beast that lives inside this Norwegian mutha fukka arose - I just had to get on it.

So we headed out to Knox County to re-enact the Battle of Barbourville, it was time to show them know-it-all Yanks how a real man handles his gun. Just like in the real Battle of Barbourville we took them commie, liberal sissys back to where they came from and retired to the TV in the yard next to Bubba’s pick-up truck to watch the Cyclones whoop the Wranglers WOOOOOO!!!!

Ciao

How many Pints did Gregan have?

Keigan's Kitchen Part III

Sorry for the delay but because of the situation we were in, we can now bring you a delayed version of Keigan's Kitchen New Year edition

Good Auld lands tine to you all!!

I was rather dashed down in my hopes when I was informed of the account that the pitch at Boundary Park was rather unplayable. But at least I was adept to performing the task of bringing forth a good collation for my good old chum Mr Sean Gregan, as he burnt out the clutch on his Range Rover and it was a choice of staying in the ghastly slum that is Oldham or surrender with me to my Lovely Cottage in the Dumfrieshire Countryside; I like to think what I’ve created up here is similar to what my good old friend Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has set-up down Dorest. Mr Gregan certainly enjoyed disposing of my Ducks that we prepared with the following array of plush and deluxe flavors.

Constituents
1 Duck Breast (fat on)
1 Sprig of fresh mint
1 Large garlic clove
1 Large dried chili
Rock or Sea Salt
Olive Oil

Arrangement
1. Heat oven to 200c.

2. Put the mint leaves, garlic clove, dried chili and a good pinch of salt into a pestle and mortar. Crush to an earthy texture.
(this is the rub, and made in larger quantities can be kept for a few months at least).

3. Either in the pestle and mortar or in a separate bowl, mix together the rub and the olive oil to make a paste.

4. Score the fat on the duck breast and rub the paste into both sides of the breast.

5. Heat a frying pan, place the breast, fat side down in the pan for 5 min, or until the fat colours. Turn over to seal the meat.

6. Place the breast in the oven dish and cook for 30-40 mins.

7. Eat. :)

Libation
Seeing as my good friend Sean is with me I have decided to keep the Vino in the Cooler and opt for a more surrogate as my friend is a big fan of the spirit and with the weather being like it is nothing will warm the cockles of your heart as a good old glass of port. Sean is a great admirer of a fine port, there is a feeling ample impulsion when Mr. Gregan brings along a bottle of Port, Brandy or Cognac for us to groom our minds for Battle. With this dish the two of us had a good bethink of times gone by, over a good vintage 1992 bottle of Quinta do Vesuvio.

I would like to thirst upon you all a primo New Year and hope you all live life as well as we like to in Dumfrieshire

Keigan

xx

Hey guys and gals

Sorry we've been away for so long it's been a difficult few months for us, first there was the Court case concerning our friends Beaver and Agogo then there was the departure of our Hungarian friends which took a very heavy toll on us, (the court case is still ongoing btw):

Deer Boundry Boos

I think youll agree with me wen you say that this seeson has turnd into the worse I have evr seen. We dont scoor enough goals because the forwereds don't have the hart!! Not only should Dave Penny ressing but TTA shud go because this moov to Manchester is scandulus! BOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Mr D Moody

well at least you managed to spell Boo correct


Dear Boundary Boos

It’s come to my attention that we’ve come to the end of the decade so I think it’s time people came up with their “team of the decade”, here is mine

GK - Adam Collin
RB - Ben Turner
LB - Stuart Giddings
CB - Kangana Ndiwa
CB - Mark Hotte
RM - Michael Clegg
CM - Wayne Gill
CM - David Lee
LM - Phil Salt
CF - Neville Roach
CF - Dean Crowe

I know what your thinking but I bet those 11 players would beat the shower that we’ve got now!!!

Barry Alan Pincus

Are you the same Barry Alan Pincus who was the BBC correspondent for The South Sandwich Island in 2001/03 and again in 2005/09?


Dear Lads

Why have you got that bone idle Keigan Parker cooking fancy dan rubbish on your page, you should appeal more to people like me and have some propper food, none of that foreign muck. I want my spuds on the right, my veg on the left, my meat on the top and my pint of Tetleys just off to the side - THATS THE WAY IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE AND IT SHOULD NEVER CHANGE

yours miserably

Say Booo to Failsworth

I'd love to see how you coped with the Digital Switchover, that is of course if you have a TV

BBs

I think it's disgusting that Cher was not included in your poll for the best Dog, Cher is a first-rate bitch and all of us down at Failsworth kennels all agree that Cher is far better behaved than the other dogs mentioned in the poll and to us will always be number 1.

**** you, you ******* *****, what the **** do you know about what we *******, stand for you ******* ******* go **** and shove a wet fish up your ******* ****** up **** you peice of ****** ****!!!

The good old Days by Alvis Williamsonson – part 1

Everyone remembers them days of Joe Royle and the “punch-me” season when we got to the Argos Cup final and two FL Cup semi finals when we lost both times to Man City, but I like to go back to a time which you may not be too aware of. I was never a fan of Richie, Royle and Ricky Holden because one was Scouse, one was a Manc and the other was a filthy Yorkshireman. I remember back in the 1930’s when we had local greats such as Norbert Blanchflower, Larry St Gilbert and of course how could you forget the great Charles “Jet-propel-speed” Bloomer.

The game in question is the 1933 Ashton and District cup and it was one unforgettable game against Duckinfield Juniors, 58,000 ‘tic crammed into the Athletic Ground (as it was known back then) to watch a classic. The game began with a visit from his Royal Highness King William VI, who walked the two teams onto the pitch Oldham in Blue and White, Ducky in all Yellow. In those days the player got changed in the Queens at the top of Sheepfoot Lane and the pre-match warm-up was the short walk down to the pitch after a couple of shots of brandy and a Lemon sponge, the clubs Inside Forward Dick Cockburn used to have to walk all the way from Macclesfield as in those days people weren’t soft. Half-Back Terry Taylor used to spend the other days of the week working on the docks in Liverpool then the remaining Friday and Sunday sweeping the East Lancs Road with his feet, that is probably the reason why he would regularly break his opponents leg, back then of course he would get the magic sponge and carry on playing.

Anyway the game began with a swift long ball landing straight at the feet of Blanchflower but Ducky full back Gordon Dougan was having none of it and kicked the Ball and Blanchflower out of touch for a goal kick. The first goal of the game went to Duck when Harry Sherbert beat his man with his wiggle (probably learnt when dancing to Duke Ellington) and his a powerful shot which bounced in the mud and splashed George “the Cat” Lillywhite in the eyes and he missed the ball 1-0 Ducky. But the lads soon responded with a quick-fire hat-trick from who else but “Jet-propel” Bloomer, one with his left, the other with his right, the third off his arse. Ducky then responded with a classic goal from that era a long ball by Godfrey Bannerman lead to a scuffle in the box, Lillywhite catches the ball but Norman Oldfield barged him over the line, players weren’t soft like they are now and the goal was given. Half time it was 3-2 to Oldham and the players built up their strength with a few light ales and some liver flavoured porridge.

The second half got away with a dazzling run from St Gilbert was fit for the King and he rounded off by blasting the ball home, 4-2 but Ducky weren’t done yet they’re star man Bert Bentley was always a hand-full and he had a rocket shot, which was as powerful as a right-hook from Joe Louis 4-3. Then the star of the show again none other than “Jet-propel” Bloomer played a long ball out of the box only for himself to catch it onto his own head in the Duck penalty box round off a fine victory for the Latics 5-3 Duckinfield and the Trophy was lifted high amongst the jubilant and joyous spectators with screams of “Oldham for the Cup, Oldham for the Cup, EI ADEO Oldham for the Cup!!!!!”, there was parties on the streets for days afterwards and the then manager Mr Beesley when he died had his Ashes scattered into the trophy because of the sheer brilliance for that day, a whole generation of Latics fans will remember where they stood on the day they won the Ashton and District Cup.