Sometimes we are not sure if you realise just how much we appreciate our readers here at the Boundary Boos. Thats why we have been working hard over the last few weeks with your favourite Oldham Athletic stars to bring you an extra special Christmas message which we have posted below!
Merry Christmas everyone!! Love the Boundary Boos xxxx
Monday, 21 December 2009
Keigan in the Kitchen: Christmas Special!!!!
Good Day to you one and all
Do I have a Frolicsome Festive feast for this joyous time of year to all you fellow marvellous patrons of Oldham Athletic. Christmas is a blissful time of the year, when dream come true and loved ones unite in harmony usually over a nice warm fire; at my cottage in the Dumfriesshire countryside I like to prepare an awe-inspiring meal. So this is how I prepare my meal of the day.
I’m not as enthusiastic about Turkey, I have been brought up to endeavour the finer things in life and Christmas is a good time to prepare my favourite meal Roast Goose compote de pommes. This dish shows a distinctly French approach to the extraneous parts of the goose. Prick the surface of the breast all over with a sharp fork and rub well with a little rough Salt and Pepper. You may allow this to be served ever so slightly pink, which is best achieved by roasting fast in a hot oven (220°C/Gas Mark 7) for about 50 minutes. Let it rest for 20 minutes before carving. The basis for your gravy is the stock in which the giblets and neck of the goose were cooked. After the initial cooking, this stock should be strained and refrigerated, so the fat, which will set on the top, can then easily be removed. Then warm up the stock and strain it through a cloth or muslin into a clean, heavy-based pan. Add one third as much red wine as there is stock and bring to the boil to reduce. The stronger the reduction, the less you need. I like to think in terms of about a tablespoon per person, and so reduce it until I have about 200ml. Do not season with salt or pepper until after the reduction is finished or it will become unpalatably salty as it reduces. This will make an intensely flavoured but quite thin jus to serve with the goose. If you like a thicker gravy, whisk a little beurre manié (soft butter mixed to a paste with a little plain flour) into the boiling juices until you get the thickness you require.
Peel, core and slice 3 large Bramleys and cook them with just a tablespoon of water, a small knob of butter and 1 tablespoon caster sugar until they disintegrate. Keep simmering gently for 10 minutes or so until you have a nice, thick apple purée. Sweeten to taste with a little more caster sugar if you like (we recommend you keep it tart to cut the fat of the goose).
Serving up the roast
We like to carve the roast at (or beside) the table, in the traditional manner. With two courses already despatched, a couple of thin slices of breast per person, a good drizzle of the very rich gravy, and a generous tablespoon of the apple sauce, along with your own selection of vegetables should keep everybody happy.
Libation
My Wine of choice for the festive time of year is the Bravante Merlot 2005.The mouthfeel shows off the luscious mountain fruit, while the silky tannins remind you of earth and chalk - typical Howell Mountain trademarks. The nose is intense, with aromas of blackberries, provincial herbs, and the usual hints of mushrooms, chalk and earth that our wines always turn up. The finish tracks the aromas and palate with the addition of just a hint of spicy oak - and cinnamon, and the wine is so firm and balanced, you only notice the oak as the gentle, "velvet glove" holding it all in place.
All in all I covet you all to have a remarkable Yuletide and to undertake one of my preferred and admired banquets at the juncture of the year.
Live life good
Keigan
xx
Festive Greetings!
Hey Hey!
Festive time means drunken time for the Boundary Boos crew! So apologies for the lack of updates. A good win at home last week versus Exeter was nearly followed up with a cracking away win at Wycombe only for us to concede a last minute penalty which allowed the 10 men Chairboys to rescue the draw.
We didnt manage to get a match report of these games but luckily our award winning photographers were there to snap all the key action:
Oldham 2 - Exeter 0:
1st Goal D. Smalley
2nd Goal P.Heffernaan
Match Action Danny Whitaker
Tune in very soon for all the best Wycombe action.
Festive time means drunken time for the Boundary Boos crew! So apologies for the lack of updates. A good win at home last week versus Exeter was nearly followed up with a cracking away win at Wycombe only for us to concede a last minute penalty which allowed the 10 men Chairboys to rescue the draw.
We didnt manage to get a match report of these games but luckily our award winning photographers were there to snap all the key action:
Oldham 2 - Exeter 0:
1st Goal D. Smalley
2nd Goal P.Heffernaan
Match Action Danny Whitaker
Tune in very soon for all the best Wycombe action.
Friday, 11 December 2009
Keigan in the Kitchen
Hello there chaps, Keigan Parker here telling you how to enjoy the finer things in life. I love to dabble up a jolly spiffin recipe which is then washed down by some rather splendid Vino. In my travels I have visited some wondrous places and been places you only wish you could imagine. Today I’m here to show you how to make Pan Fried Foie Gras a rather splendid compound of flavours and ingredients.
We bring to pass the proceeding by the following:
Constituent:
Pan fried foie gras recipe for 4 people:
4 Slices of foie gras of 90g (3oz) each
4 thick slices of slicepan bread
4 apples, grannysmith preferable
50g butter
1/2 beetroot and one chicory
salt and freshly ground pepper
Direction :
Toast the bread and cut it with a medium size cutter to give it a round shape.
In a frying pan, melt the butter down and pan fry the apples that have been peeled, cored and quatered. Cook them until a nice golden color. Set them aside.
Season well your slices of foie gras and place them in the freezer for 5 minutes.
Heat up a dry frying pan and sear your slices of foie gras for a minute on each side and set them aside on some kitchen paper.
Arrangement
:
On a small tray put your slices of toasts, top them up with the apples and finish with the slices of foie gras. At the last minute put this little "sandwiches" in the oven for 3 minutes at 200C/ 392F. Sprinkle with a couple of grains of cracked pepper and "fleur de sel" on the top of the foie gras just before serving.
Place your foie gras-apple "toasties" (as you commoners may refer) at the centre of a plate, then place a bit of salad made of finely chopped chicory and beetroot at the top of the plate and season it with a little bit of dressing made of cherry vinegar and hazelnut oil.
Libation
My Vino of choice for this evenings is a fine Chardonnay in Domaine Paul Pernot 2004 from the Burgundy region of France, which is a fine blend of flowery aroma blended with a hint of citrus fruits, I will enjoy it and hopefully you will too, it’s available at any Selfridges and highly recommended by top wine critics such as Alberto Antonini, David Schildknecht and Craig Rocastle. It tastes divine,
This is a rather fine dish and I must bethink you with this opportunity to endeavour this rather ornate
fare of fine nourishment.
Keep on living fine
Keigan
xx
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Back up and running and a very special letter
Excellent excellent news kids the virus that has been haunting the BBs office looks to have finally been beaten. Not only can we keep you upto date with all things Latics we can now safely check out this "Naughty Sauce" site Pete Bleak keeps going on about. Talking about saucy people we have received a letter in our inbox from a disgruntled player this week:
Dear BBs,
As an avid reader of your excellent ezine and one of your number one fans I was very sad and upset to hear that you have not included my pretty little poodle "Cher" in your who has the best dog poll. Cher is a poodle of the highest quality and I spend hours grooming her everyday after training. The misses says I should enter her into Crufts this year so I have been training her up in doggy etiquette. Not only is she pretty she is now polite too. If only you would come round to see her you would see she is better than any of those mongrels you have listed in your poll. Please find it in your hearts to amend your poll to let Cher in I am sure she will not disappoint and she will come number one,
yours truly,
S.Gregan
Sorry pal, we enlisted the help of some of Crufts finest when choosing the finalists for our who has the best dogs poll and if we are being brutally honest, Cher didnt "cut the mustard". If anything it looked like the owner was trying to hard.
Dear BBs,
As an avid reader of your excellent ezine and one of your number one fans I was very sad and upset to hear that you have not included my pretty little poodle "Cher" in your who has the best dog poll. Cher is a poodle of the highest quality and I spend hours grooming her everyday after training. The misses says I should enter her into Crufts this year so I have been training her up in doggy etiquette. Not only is she pretty she is now polite too. If only you would come round to see her you would see she is better than any of those mongrels you have listed in your poll. Please find it in your hearts to amend your poll to let Cher in I am sure she will not disappoint and she will come number one,
yours truly,
S.Gregan
Sorry pal, we enlisted the help of some of Crufts finest when choosing the finalists for our who has the best dogs poll and if we are being brutally honest, Cher didnt "cut the mustard". If anything it looked like the owner was trying to hard.
Gunnars Gunz: Bazooka
.JPG)
Hallo again!
Ya guys its me Gunnar Halle again and you will never know what I been up to this week so I will tell you now.
People so impressed with my shooting skills in Iraq last week that I get lots of offers to join new war. So instead of watching our away trip to Norwich I have now become a mercenary for hire. Its super great.
Highest bidder this week was Warlord in Mogadisu. He give me US $1 million plus key to his armoury and tell me to go out there and do what I do best. Its crazy crazy place so I picked up Bazooka just to be safe. Because its so crazy I shoot first ask questions later, as you can tell from the picture I have to always be on my guard.
Anyway must go, just been told there is a school full of bandits which needs to come down!
Ciao!
Norwich 2 Oldham 0
Oh god help us we are scraping the barrel for this match, the only scribe we could get to do the match report for this game was the always horrifically tedious Bill Shaw. We did have a load of ex Latics stars lined up for this momentous trip however at the last moment it turns out Ian Marshall, Jon Hallworth, Neil Pointon, Steve Whitehall and Barry Prednerville all had to look after Sean Garnett’s cat. At least you could say old Bill has never let the club down, he is certainly always "on the scene". Over to you Bill!
Hi I’m Bill and I know more about Oldham Athletic Association Football Club 2004 ltd than Michael Douglas does about Catherine Zeta Jones’s G-spot. I decided to get the train down it was a class 151 train from Manchester which I found disgusting as I was wanting to get down on a class 182 but we’ve got to make with what we do. The train took 5 hours and 3 minutes to get there. I got in the ground at 13:30 when the turnstyles opened and didn’t bother with the food Deliah had on offer. Who supports Oldham and wants to have a Steak and Wine Pie? Bloody Rubbish!
I stuck to my Scotch Egg, Curly Wurly, a soggy pork pie and a Bovril in a flask. I first went to Norwich on the 23rd of August 1982, Roger Palmer and Paul Futcher played and we drew 0-0 and the attendance that day was 17487 with 231 in attendance from Oldham.
Once the game kicked off there were all this singing and people bloody stood up so I did the usual trick and yelled “SIDDOWN!!!”, and thankfully the stewards were very helpful and got everyone to do it for me so there was no need for a quick crack of my walking stick. God bless those boys, Football has been a much better experience because of them; much less this bloody singing rubbish and everyone can sit down and see the rubbish on the pitch.
As ever they were crap and didn’t have the heart, Penney should be sacked and they should bring back Andy Ritchie, but what disappointed me more was that the fans didn’t give the team a good booing off at half time or at full time to show them just what a bloody let down they all are.
In summary this is the worst team I’ve seen in 40 years of watching this shyte BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I'm not going to watch this shower of shite again!
Hi I’m Bill and I know more about Oldham Athletic Association Football Club 2004 ltd than Michael Douglas does about Catherine Zeta Jones’s G-spot. I decided to get the train down it was a class 151 train from Manchester which I found disgusting as I was wanting to get down on a class 182 but we’ve got to make with what we do. The train took 5 hours and 3 minutes to get there. I got in the ground at 13:30 when the turnstyles opened and didn’t bother with the food Deliah had on offer. Who supports Oldham and wants to have a Steak and Wine Pie? Bloody Rubbish!
I stuck to my Scotch Egg, Curly Wurly, a soggy pork pie and a Bovril in a flask. I first went to Norwich on the 23rd of August 1982, Roger Palmer and Paul Futcher played and we drew 0-0 and the attendance that day was 17487 with 231 in attendance from Oldham.
Once the game kicked off there were all this singing and people bloody stood up so I did the usual trick and yelled “SIDDOWN!!!”, and thankfully the stewards were very helpful and got everyone to do it for me so there was no need for a quick crack of my walking stick. God bless those boys, Football has been a much better experience because of them; much less this bloody singing rubbish and everyone can sit down and see the rubbish on the pitch.
As ever they were crap and didn’t have the heart, Penney should be sacked and they should bring back Andy Ritchie, but what disappointed me more was that the fans didn’t give the team a good booing off at half time or at full time to show them just what a bloody let down they all are.
In summary this is the worst team I’ve seen in 40 years of watching this shyte BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I'm not going to watch this shower of shite again!
Latics 0 - 2 Leeds plus viruses
I think we are going to have to limit the amount of nudey sites we allow the Boundary Boos team to go on to four a day. Our BBs computer has been hijacked by viruses all week and we are struggling to get the site to update!
Anyway over a week over due I think I will finally be able to provide you with Pete Bleaks excellent match report from the Leeds game. It was fantastic wasn't it. Enjoy!
xx
Hi there Pete Bleak here, the Main Stand’s most prominent voice of wisdom and heres what I’ve got to say about last night
AMAZING, FANTASTIC, UNBELEIVABLE, WELL DONE LADS!!!!!! Yes well done lads that was a fantastic performance last night, we really showed them tossers whose boss, the commitment was top notch your really stuck it to them and gave them a hard time.
I was particularly impressed with the way in which the abuse got louder and louder as the game went on and the fact that there was no encouragement whatsoever towards the team. I was particularly impressed with the following memorable quotes from the terraces last night
“Get it forward Oldham”
“Is that Radio 5 in your earpiece linesman?”
“WANKER”
“get stuck in lads”
“kick him out of play”
“Bring back Joe Royle”
“Bloody rubbish Heffernen go back to Doncaster”
“why can’t we sign players like Becchio it’s a disgrace Penney, and Corney Out!”
Stay tuned next week when I give you a report on the “party” at Norwich
Anyway over a week over due I think I will finally be able to provide you with Pete Bleaks excellent match report from the Leeds game. It was fantastic wasn't it. Enjoy!
xx
Hi there Pete Bleak here, the Main Stand’s most prominent voice of wisdom and heres what I’ve got to say about last night
AMAZING, FANTASTIC, UNBELEIVABLE, WELL DONE LADS!!!!!! Yes well done lads that was a fantastic performance last night, we really showed them tossers whose boss, the commitment was top notch your really stuck it to them and gave them a hard time.
I was particularly impressed with the way in which the abuse got louder and louder as the game went on and the fact that there was no encouragement whatsoever towards the team. I was particularly impressed with the following memorable quotes from the terraces last night
“Get it forward Oldham”
“Is that Radio 5 in your earpiece linesman?”
“WANKER”
“get stuck in lads”
“kick him out of play”
“Bring back Joe Royle”
“Bloody rubbish Heffernen go back to Doncaster”
“why can’t we sign players like Becchio it’s a disgrace Penney, and Corney Out!”
Stay tuned next week when I give you a report on the “party” at Norwich
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Email Inbox
Shucks, we seem to be getting more popular by the day the emails just keep flooding in!! Heres another selection from the Boundary Boos mailbox:
Dear BBs,
I'm so pleased with the way this season has gone, it makes a refreshing change to see us not get too carried away and going out to score goals, I think Kelvin Lomax is one step away from International Football, and my bet on the World Cup just has to go to South Africa with Dean Furman puling the strings Brazil and Spain must be quaking in their boots. May I also praise the club for it's value for money, I mean the half time entertainment has been enthralling and is worth the £20 entrance fee alone, I think the club should double it!!!
Cliff Richard, Gwent
Yes Cliff I do agree that the half time entertainment has certainly been enthralling, however, if your that Cliff Richard who sings "We're all going on a Summer Holiday" I would advise you never to go to an Oldham match again because I will personally hunt you down and shoot you in the face!
Hey Boundary Boos Boys,
I'm GONNA OPEN YOUR FUCKING FACES WITH A SCREWDRIVER!!!!
Sorry Beavers here, Agogo just threatened me with his prison shank so I had to give him the pen, he wanted to have a go on the letter, he hasnt had access to opium for a while so he is going off his nut.
Just a quick note to say all is going well and we only have a combined sentence of 13 years to go! If I can get hold of some substances to control Agogo I think we could be out in 5!! Anyway keep up the good work, your filling the great hole which has been missing since BeaversAgogo has gone to jail. Remember kids check out Beaversagogo.com the original Oldham Athletic webzine!!
Your nightmare in the shower
Beavers and Agogo xx
Thanks your letter guys, always good to hear from our brothers on the inside. I'll try and send in a cake full of goodies for you and Agogo. Stay strong and see you on the outside although I am not sure I can forgive Agogo for what he did yo Ian Marshall's lady friend
Dear Lads
I'm writing to say I'm disgusted with the amount of players who just don't care for the cause, especially Ruben Hazel and Kelvin Lomax, theres just something about them two that reminds me of the disgustingly lazy Jermaine Johnson, Craig Rocastle and Criag bloody Davies. Back in the day we had some proper players like Paul Rickers and Richard Graham they would happily jump in front of a bullet to save Sean Garnetts Arse. Not to mention that I couldn't beleive the cheek of Neal Eardley to come back to do the half time draw after all his uncaring Welshness, he's a lucky man, how he's playing for a side at the top of the Championship is just beyond me, BLOODY RUBBISH BOOOOOO!!!
yours miserably
Say Booo to Failsworth
I'd love to know which party YOU are voting for in this summers elections!
Dear BBs,
I'm so pleased with the way this season has gone, it makes a refreshing change to see us not get too carried away and going out to score goals, I think Kelvin Lomax is one step away from International Football, and my bet on the World Cup just has to go to South Africa with Dean Furman puling the strings Brazil and Spain must be quaking in their boots. May I also praise the club for it's value for money, I mean the half time entertainment has been enthralling and is worth the £20 entrance fee alone, I think the club should double it!!!
Cliff Richard, Gwent
Yes Cliff I do agree that the half time entertainment has certainly been enthralling, however, if your that Cliff Richard who sings "We're all going on a Summer Holiday" I would advise you never to go to an Oldham match again because I will personally hunt you down and shoot you in the face!
Hey Boundary Boos Boys,
I'm GONNA OPEN YOUR FUCKING FACES WITH A SCREWDRIVER!!!!
Sorry Beavers here, Agogo just threatened me with his prison shank so I had to give him the pen, he wanted to have a go on the letter, he hasnt had access to opium for a while so he is going off his nut.
Just a quick note to say all is going well and we only have a combined sentence of 13 years to go! If I can get hold of some substances to control Agogo I think we could be out in 5!! Anyway keep up the good work, your filling the great hole which has been missing since BeaversAgogo has gone to jail. Remember kids check out Beaversagogo.com the original Oldham Athletic webzine!!
Your nightmare in the shower
Beavers and Agogo xx
Thanks your letter guys, always good to hear from our brothers on the inside. I'll try and send in a cake full of goodies for you and Agogo. Stay strong and see you on the outside although I am not sure I can forgive Agogo for what he did yo Ian Marshall's lady friend
Dear Lads
I'm writing to say I'm disgusted with the amount of players who just don't care for the cause, especially Ruben Hazel and Kelvin Lomax, theres just something about them two that reminds me of the disgustingly lazy Jermaine Johnson, Craig Rocastle and Criag bloody Davies. Back in the day we had some proper players like Paul Rickers and Richard Graham they would happily jump in front of a bullet to save Sean Garnetts Arse. Not to mention that I couldn't beleive the cheek of Neal Eardley to come back to do the half time draw after all his uncaring Welshness, he's a lucky man, how he's playing for a side at the top of the Championship is just beyond me, BLOODY RUBBISH BOOOOOO!!!
yours miserably
Say Booo to Failsworth
I'd love to know which party YOU are voting for in this summers elections!
Gunnars Gunz: AK47
Hallo!
Ya I'm Gunnar Halle from Norway and I was so pissed off about defeat against Leeds that I sign up to Norweigan Panzer Seals Special Force and get deployed to Iraq to shoot some scumbags and camels. Here's me with Suddan Hussiens Golden Ak 47 after I take down a 3 humper!
Its just like the crusades!!
I cant wait to see what gun I will fire next week.
Ciao.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Deadline Rumours with Agent Branston
Awwite you cheeky cants!
Big Guy Branston here and yes you have heard it right. Not only am I one part footballer I am now one part football agent. And since signing up to do my HND in Football Agenting at the Burton Polytechnic I get to hear all the latest deadline day gossip and I have got some corkers for you Latics fans.
Keep it on the the down low but by all accounts Latics are gonna be making a swoop for Sheffield Wednesday left back Micheal Gray. And how they going to pay for this I hear you say? Only by offering the Owls Assistant Manager Martin Gray!! Thats crazy...crazy I tells you!!
Oh I theres more don't you worry. I was having a cheeky number 2 this morning before my seminar on "Accepting bribes" when I overheard a fellow agent on the phone in the toilets sorting out a deal for Ryan Brooke. Its not common knowledge so keep it quiet but apparently young Brookey has been wetting the appetite of good old ginger Moyes and Everton are gonna come in with a 300k bid for the little scamp.
Finally, I was in the Students Union before having a few wife beaters with Lids and Warney and the conversation got a bit saucy and we were talking Chrissy Taylor. He's only gone and bloody singed for Sheffield United! Crikey!!
Anyways I must dash, just got some little blond pieces number and I fancy smashing her back doors in! OI OI !!
Branny
Big Guy Branston here and yes you have heard it right. Not only am I one part footballer I am now one part football agent. And since signing up to do my HND in Football Agenting at the Burton Polytechnic I get to hear all the latest deadline day gossip and I have got some corkers for you Latics fans.
Keep it on the the down low but by all accounts Latics are gonna be making a swoop for Sheffield Wednesday left back Micheal Gray. And how they going to pay for this I hear you say? Only by offering the Owls Assistant Manager Martin Gray!! Thats crazy...crazy I tells you!!
Oh I theres more don't you worry. I was having a cheeky number 2 this morning before my seminar on "Accepting bribes" when I overheard a fellow agent on the phone in the toilets sorting out a deal for Ryan Brooke. Its not common knowledge so keep it quiet but apparently young Brookey has been wetting the appetite of good old ginger Moyes and Everton are gonna come in with a 300k bid for the little scamp.
Finally, I was in the Students Union before having a few wife beaters with Lids and Warney and the conversation got a bit saucy and we were talking Chrissy Taylor. He's only gone and bloody singed for Sheffield United! Crikey!!
Anyways I must dash, just got some little blond pieces number and I fancy smashing her back doors in! OI OI !!
Branny
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
Ex Latic sets up Latics downfall plus League 1 Results
Surprise Surprise, it was Darren Byfield who set up Walsall's first as runny and inconsistent Latics side went down 3 0 in the Midlands. Check out the Boundary Boos official match report later on today for the full run of last nights proceedings. Here is the full results from last nights League 1 programme
Charlton 4 v 2 Bristol Rovers 15,885
Colchester 2 v 0 Stockport 3,818
Exeter City 1 v 1 Millwall 5,732
Gillingham 1 v 0 Yeovil Town 4,450
Hartlepool 1 v 3 Southampton 3,818
Leeds United 1 v 0 Leyton Orient 19,744
MK Dons 3 v 4 Carlisle 9,459
Norwich City 4 v 1 Brighton 24,670
Swindon Town 2 v 1 Huddersfield 6,630
Tranmere 2 v 0 Southend 4,317
Walsall 3 v 0 Oldham 3,191
Wycombe 1 v 0 Brentford 5,181
Carlo Corrazin "ooo some splendid action to see last night eh!"
Charlton 4 v 2 Bristol Rovers 15,885
Colchester 2 v 0 Stockport 3,818
Exeter City 1 v 1 Millwall 5,732
Gillingham 1 v 0 Yeovil Town 4,450
Hartlepool 1 v 3 Southampton 3,818
Leeds United 1 v 0 Leyton Orient 19,744
MK Dons 3 v 4 Carlisle 9,459
Norwich City 4 v 1 Brighton 24,670
Swindon Town 2 v 1 Huddersfield 6,630
Tranmere 2 v 0 Southend 4,317
Walsall 3 v 0 Oldham 3,191
Wycombe 1 v 0 Brentford 5,181
Carlo Corrazin "ooo some splendid action to see last night eh!"
Agony Aunt
Hey there we at Boundary Booos are not just here in order to talk football we're also here to lend an ear and give you advice on all problems in life, (it's only for people related to Oldham Athletic Football Club mind we we aint helping any of you foreign lot). We have the Dr of Lurve, the one and only Lee Richardson to help listen to peoples queries.
Hi there Dr Lee in the house, I know what you guys are thinking and yes you are correct I do have a 13 inch penis, and my long hair back in the 90's was the subject of my other life as a pornographic performer. As well as this I played many nights in the Oldham Rock Centre in our band "Hair" alongside other members Neil Pointon, Mark Brennen and not forgetting Nicky Banger on drums, (he would hit that target every time!!!)
Dear Lee, I've been having a lot of trouble lately with masturbation I just can't keep hold of the god dam thing, it's like the pace the thing is just too fast for my brain to hand co-ordination and it just slips away from me. I've tried and tried to practice, which is why I have taken up a career as a professional goalkeeper at some gullible 3rd tier football club who bought my ad, but I've played a fair few games and still the whole thing is not working, my balls are going to explode what should I do? D Brill aged 23
Maybe your just not a Dr of Lurve like me, I have no problem whatsoever as my sheer brilliance on the ball tends to just all go through in one motion, hell I could probably play as a goalkeeper for this football club better than you, what would you say If I was to apply for your job?
Dear Lee, I've have a problem with my life, it seems that she doesn't listen to me anymore, it's like I'm a ghost, just the other day we met in the hallway and I let her past me just like I do in any of those situations in life and I got no thank you or any acknowledgement whatsoever. It's the same thing in bed she doesn't let me doing anything when we're getting down and dirty, she just dominates me just like in my professional life, the only other position we've tried is doggystyle but whenever I attempt it she just falls asleep as if I don't have enough physical power. What can I do to get noticed? D Whittaker aged 29
Well man it would help if you had long hair, the chicks dig that sort of stuff, also make more noise around the house, maybe take up playing the guitar, chicks dig the sound of the Blues blasting out first thing in the morning it gets the ladyeez so horny.
Hi there Dr Lee in the house, I know what you guys are thinking and yes you are correct I do have a 13 inch penis, and my long hair back in the 90's was the subject of my other life as a pornographic performer. As well as this I played many nights in the Oldham Rock Centre in our band "Hair" alongside other members Neil Pointon, Mark Brennen and not forgetting Nicky Banger on drums, (he would hit that target every time!!!)
Dear Lee, I've been having a lot of trouble lately with masturbation I just can't keep hold of the god dam thing, it's like the pace the thing is just too fast for my brain to hand co-ordination and it just slips away from me. I've tried and tried to practice, which is why I have taken up a career as a professional goalkeeper at some gullible 3rd tier football club who bought my ad, but I've played a fair few games and still the whole thing is not working, my balls are going to explode what should I do? D Brill aged 23
Maybe your just not a Dr of Lurve like me, I have no problem whatsoever as my sheer brilliance on the ball tends to just all go through in one motion, hell I could probably play as a goalkeeper for this football club better than you, what would you say If I was to apply for your job?
Dear Lee, I've have a problem with my life, it seems that she doesn't listen to me anymore, it's like I'm a ghost, just the other day we met in the hallway and I let her past me just like I do in any of those situations in life and I got no thank you or any acknowledgement whatsoever. It's the same thing in bed she doesn't let me doing anything when we're getting down and dirty, she just dominates me just like in my professional life, the only other position we've tried is doggystyle but whenever I attempt it she just falls asleep as if I don't have enough physical power. What can I do to get noticed? D Whittaker aged 29
Well man it would help if you had long hair, the chicks dig that sort of stuff, also make more noise around the house, maybe take up playing the guitar, chicks dig the sound of the Blues blasting out first thing in the morning it gets the ladyeez so horny.
Thursday, 19 November 2009
EMAIL INBOX
This weeks letters have been pouring in already. THANK YOU!!! THANKS EVER SOOO MUCH, DANKE!!!!
Dear Boundary Boos
Hi my name is Helen, I fancy the pants of Dean Smalley, he is so lovely, his knees are divine. I don't think I will read your fanzine ever again if Dean Furman wins your latest poll I would feel like a traitor. Its a shame because I really like the Boundary Boos. COME ON EVERYONE VOTE FOR DEANO SMALLEY PLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAAASSSEEE!
Helen xxx
Sorry Helen I hate Dean Smalley I hope he loses (both knees!)
Hey BB
Your French corrispondent is a cunt, tell him to fuck off
Anon
Ouch, I did what you said and he just tried to bite my nose off, why dont you FUCK OFF!
Hi Boundary Boos,
While I think your great and all, I do get bored of reading so much, can we have more pics and vids please!
Jason Crowe
Haha funny you should mention that young Jason, there will be a Pics Special coming soon! And keep your eyes peeled for a VERY special Film.
Dear Boundary Boos
Hi my name is Helen, I fancy the pants of Dean Smalley, he is so lovely, his knees are divine. I don't think I will read your fanzine ever again if Dean Furman wins your latest poll I would feel like a traitor. Its a shame because I really like the Boundary Boos. COME ON EVERYONE VOTE FOR DEANO SMALLEY PLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAAASSSEEE!
Helen xxx
Sorry Helen I hate Dean Smalley I hope he loses (both knees!)
Hey BB
Your French corrispondent is a cunt, tell him to fuck off
Anon
Ouch, I did what you said and he just tried to bite my nose off, why dont you FUCK OFF!
Hi Boundary Boos,
While I think your great and all, I do get bored of reading so much, can we have more pics and vids please!
Jason Crowe
Haha funny you should mention that young Jason, there will be a Pics Special coming soon! And keep your eyes peeled for a VERY special Film.
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
Keep THIS!
Now now, Goalkeeping isn't all about saves and clean sheets!
Oooo hello, Dean Spill here, personal Goalkeeping Coach to Dean Brill. I was just having a debate with young Dean about the fundamentals of Goalkeeping and I am disappointed to see that the young man still has a lot to learn. He keeps going on about how, he wants to improve his "shot stopping", "handling" and "organising the defence" when he hasn't even started on the basics yet!
As Deano isn't listening I guess i'll share me secrets with you guys instead while your here! I'll start off with some basic rules to keeping goal:
1. Free kicks are dangerous, stand in the middle of the goal and look the other way so the kicker doesn't know which way you will dive.
2. Don't get drawn off your line when the ball gets crossed in, those outfielders can be pretty rough and Goalkeepers bruise easily.
3. When possible try not to dive, the English Football season runs throughout winter and the pitches can get muddy and it can be a pain to wash off your shorts, top and knees
4. When possible blame Kelvin Lomax for loosing his man, he's shit!
Nooo Deano Nooo, I don't care that you have just saved 5 free kicks in a row that's not how you defend them! You stand behind your wall, theres less chance of you getting hurt lad!
Oooo hello, Dean Spill here, personal Goalkeeping Coach to Dean Brill. I was just having a debate with young Dean about the fundamentals of Goalkeeping and I am disappointed to see that the young man still has a lot to learn. He keeps going on about how, he wants to improve his "shot stopping", "handling" and "organising the defence" when he hasn't even started on the basics yet!
As Deano isn't listening I guess i'll share me secrets with you guys instead while your here! I'll start off with some basic rules to keeping goal:
1. Free kicks are dangerous, stand in the middle of the goal and look the other way so the kicker doesn't know which way you will dive.
2. Don't get drawn off your line when the ball gets crossed in, those outfielders can be pretty rough and Goalkeepers bruise easily.
3. When possible try not to dive, the English Football season runs throughout winter and the pitches can get muddy and it can be a pain to wash off your shorts, top and knees
4. When possible blame Kelvin Lomax for loosing his man, he's shit!
Nooo Deano Nooo, I don't care that you have just saved 5 free kicks in a row that's not how you defend them! You stand behind your wall, theres less chance of you getting hurt lad!
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Cross Channel Chat. Aaaaarrrrrrrggghh.
Who says we Oldhamers are not a cultured bunch?
We've only been up and running for a few hours and we have already had contact from our French correspondent and award winning football columnist Karim Menacere. Lets see what he has to say.
C
Aaaaarrrrrrrggghh.. Je voyage tous les samedis de regarder La Tics et je pense que si je continue de regarder le merde depuis le début de la saison puis je vais trouver personellement Dave Pound et crier ‘BOOOOOOOOOO !’ haute et forte a l’oreille ! Mon problème est, surtout, je déteste le milieu de terrain, surtout le jouer qui n’a pas le cheveux- Danny Whitaker… quelle batard.. !! Il est un petit chat timide.. !! oú ..je veux dire CHAT.. !! Ma Mère est meilleur que Danny Shitaker et elle n’a pas des jambes.. !! uuuuuggghh.. quelle horreur ! Je pense que c’est absolument nécessaire a changer Shits pour mon jouer favorite et mon idole dans la vie, Kelvin Nomax. Il est tout ce que j'aspire à être et avant que je quitté ma maison à Lyon depuis 3 années, j'ai dit à ma mère que je reviendrais comme le Kelvin Elle m'a toujours voulu être ! Je trouve le façon dont il joue pour être très sexy et je pense que dans le futur il sera le jouer du monde, les rues a venir de Zinedine Zidane. Cependant, cela est évident pour tous qui a un cerveau de football. Finalement, Je suis très impressionné par la chanson ‘BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’ Il me permet de libérer ma colère d’avoir un pénis qui ne peuvent pas se lever. Rendez- vous tous au théâtre de merde !
Karim
We've only been up and running for a few hours and we have already had contact from our French correspondent and award winning football columnist Karim Menacere. Lets see what he has to say.
C
Aaaaarrrrrrrggghh.. Je voyage tous les samedis de regarder La Tics et je pense que si je continue de regarder le merde depuis le début de la saison puis je vais trouver personellement Dave Pound et crier ‘BOOOOOOOOOO !’ haute et forte a l’oreille ! Mon problème est, surtout, je déteste le milieu de terrain, surtout le jouer qui n’a pas le cheveux- Danny Whitaker… quelle batard.. !! Il est un petit chat timide.. !! oú ..je veux dire CHAT.. !! Ma Mère est meilleur que Danny Shitaker et elle n’a pas des jambes.. !! uuuuuggghh.. quelle horreur ! Je pense que c’est absolument nécessaire a changer Shits pour mon jouer favorite et mon idole dans la vie, Kelvin Nomax. Il est tout ce que j'aspire à être et avant que je quitté ma maison à Lyon depuis 3 années, j'ai dit à ma mère que je reviendrais comme le Kelvin Elle m'a toujours voulu être ! Je trouve le façon dont il joue pour être très sexy et je pense que dans le futur il sera le jouer du monde, les rues a venir de Zinedine Zidane. Cependant, cela est évident pour tous qui a un cerveau de football. Finalement, Je suis très impressionné par la chanson ‘BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’ Il me permet de libérer ma colère d’avoir un pénis qui ne peuvent pas se lever. Rendez- vous tous au théâtre de merde !
Karim
Welcome!
Ahem,
Welcome to the Boundary Boo's everyone, I hope you enjoyed Lesson 1 of our E-learning series. Come back for "Lesson 2: Who to Boo" next week, its sure to be a cracker.
Do remember though we are not just an educational institution we are also the newest and already the best Oldham Athletic Fanzine on the web. Check back regularly for match reports, expert opinion, letters, polls and special guests and plenty more from your favourite club.
Make sure you get down to fortress Boundary on Saturday for the big match vs Colchester United, if your lucky you might even see a goal!
C x
Welcome to the Boundary Boo's everyone, I hope you enjoyed Lesson 1 of our E-learning series. Come back for "Lesson 2: Who to Boo" next week, its sure to be a cracker.
Do remember though we are not just an educational institution we are also the newest and already the best Oldham Athletic Fanzine on the web. Check back regularly for match reports, expert opinion, letters, polls and special guests and plenty more from your favourite club.
Make sure you get down to fortress Boundary on Saturday for the big match vs Colchester United, if your lucky you might even see a goal!
C x
Boundary Boos Lesson 1: The Language of a Booer
BLOODY RUBBISH WOMAN!
BOOOO!!! Should have stuck with the bloody last wife! If you can't even cook up a simple bacon omelette for your man when he gets home from work what's the bloody point! Never mind the problems you have with giving head! I'm going to have to go anyway, i've got to take my first "E-Learning" Seminar for the Boundary Boo's. GET IT SORTED WOMAN by the time I'm home or its the cupboard for you!!!RUBBISH! *puts down phone*
Riight, Hello students sorry I'm a bit late, had to call the wife. Now I'm gonna get straight to the point. Now you've graduated from the Boundary Blues, its my job to get those bloody optimistic grins off your faces and make you into a real Oldham fan.
My name is Professor Pete Bleak, and todays lesson is simple. You are going to write down a number of popular words and phrases from the Boundary Park terraces memorise them and then shout them back at me. Got it?! Right here goes:
1. BLOODY RUBBISH!!!
2. GET IT FORWARD!!!
3. GET HIM OFF PENNEY!!!
4. GET BLOODY SHERIDAN BACK!!
5. W**KER!
6. BRING BACK ROYLE
7. IM NEVER COMING BACK TO WATCH THIS SHITE EVER AGAIN!
and of course:
8. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Well that conclude Lesson 1, if you memorise those you will be well on your way to becoming a professional Booer.
And one final thing students don't forget the Boundary Boo's motto... The longer the "oooo", the better the "BOOOO".
BOOOO!!! Should have stuck with the bloody last wife! If you can't even cook up a simple bacon omelette for your man when he gets home from work what's the bloody point! Never mind the problems you have with giving head! I'm going to have to go anyway, i've got to take my first "E-Learning" Seminar for the Boundary Boo's. GET IT SORTED WOMAN by the time I'm home or its the cupboard for you!!!RUBBISH! *puts down phone*
Riight, Hello students sorry I'm a bit late, had to call the wife. Now I'm gonna get straight to the point. Now you've graduated from the Boundary Blues, its my job to get those bloody optimistic grins off your faces and make you into a real Oldham fan.
My name is Professor Pete Bleak, and todays lesson is simple. You are going to write down a number of popular words and phrases from the Boundary Park terraces memorise them and then shout them back at me. Got it?! Right here goes:
1. BLOODY RUBBISH!!!
2. GET IT FORWARD!!!
3. GET HIM OFF PENNEY!!!
4. GET BLOODY SHERIDAN BACK!!
5. W**KER!
6. BRING BACK ROYLE
7. IM NEVER COMING BACK TO WATCH THIS SHITE EVER AGAIN!
and of course:
8. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Well that conclude Lesson 1, if you memorise those you will be well on your way to becoming a professional Booer.
And one final thing students don't forget the Boundary Boo's motto... The longer the "oooo", the better the "BOOOO".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)